what's in a name?

My mother has a nickname for me. I used to be so embarrassed when she'd call for me using this name, and I have no idea where it came from. But for whatever reason, she decided the nickname George, or Georgie, suited me perfectly.

I remember when I was really young, maybe four or five, she would tease me by sing-songing the nursery ryhme 'Georgie Porgie':

Georgie Porgie puddin' pie,
kissed all the boys,
and made them cry.

I would get sooo upset and yell out, "I did not kiss the boys and make them cry!". I remember her wiping away my tears (while laughing, of course) and saying, "it's okay if you make them cry, just don't ever let them make you cry". And it wasn't until I grew older did I fully understand what she meant...

Yes, I am what one may call a maneater. Or so it seems. I have been in four "serious", longterm relationships, with the longest being 4 years and the shortest a little over a year, and I have ended every.single.relationship.

Just like my mother predicted, I kissed all the boys and made them cry.

The reason I bring this up is because I just recently sorta kinda we'll see what happens ended relationship number 4. And all because I didn't feel my needs where being met, and I think I just kinda knew he wasn't "The One". Some may say that I did the right thing, if it's not right, it's just not right, right? Others (such as my dumpee's) say that I am hard to please and am unwilling to accept that no relationship is perfect.

So. For once in approximately 10 years, I am putting myself first. I have packed up my life, moved cross country back to my hometown, and back in with my newly single mother (that's a totally different post...) to start over. I'm going to stop thinking about what I want my life to be like and start living it. "One day" starts today. I have no idea what's going to happen, I have no idea where to start, but I'm 25 years old and I'm going to start living my life damnit.